🦇 LILITH ❤️‍🔥

🦇+++ In the Bible, Lilith was the first wife of Adam who, in short, wanted to be on top during sex instead of being submissive missionary - this resulted in her exile, totally rejected and outcast. Her portrait would be distorted throughout history as the patriarchy painted her as a promiscuous woman who flew around at night hunting babies to eat. In other words, a demon spirit.

My natal Lilith is placed in the sign of Aries, fire-starter, passionate and fierce.

Since my natal Lilith resides in ♈️ , I decided to do some healing and “cutting out” of some unhealthy patterns around sex and sexuality. Lilith in Aries is a passionate warrior force to be reckoned with, in my personal experience.

I learned from @oliviapepper ,mystic mentor, this is known as the Killing Knife moon. An opportunity to cut out behaviors that are not serving us. Since Lilith represents in our own lives: primal rage, rejection, humiliation, exile- anytime is a good time for me to cut out some toxic patterns.

The power is in the choice to turn these harmful tendencies and abusive patterns into more useful creations-

We must go into our own dark depths, confront the beast, soothe the beast, decide what we need to be truly satiated in a healthy way, and set sail knowing our TRUE NORTH.

I have needed to find a way to reconcile my love for the sensual sexual experience, and my impatient rush to the climax. Aka choosing my partners wisely to match my worth. Be done with desperation in a touch-starved world. So, my internal process includes acknowledging and honoring my own worth by no longer choosing people who don’t really choose me beyond the bedroom.

It’s not about being the woman Adam (or any man) wants, it’s not about changing to fit the role of Eve.

It’s about finding the “Adam” (or healthy partner) that Lilith needed when she wanted sexual (and relational) equality.

And yes, I am re writing the Bible, which I have never finished reading. I do know that some of that shit is explicitly misinterpreted.

So let’s have a re-write.

📸: Tim Edwards

+++ An aspect of my natal Lilith was activated after becoming a mother, and then going through separation from both the father of my children and our actual children.

The rage has been real.

Without giving too much detail, because there are so so many...the trauma of childbirths, major surgery, physical recovery/hormonal changes (ie all things postpartum that few talk at length about), domestic conflict, separation anxiety and eventually tonic-clonic seizures for which meds are required...yeah my Lilith in Aries has kicked everyone’s ass.

Lesson of Lilith: you can only stay on top for so long- tame the primal rage by balancing the masculine rejection wound, with the nurturing feminine power; release the resentment toward injustice or rejection, because ultimately resentment does not help the revolution. It will not sustain re-birth.

In my younger years, I believe my Lilith placement was about risk-taking, passion, primal pleasure and going for exactly what I wanted in the moment. A very powerful fire sign in a significant part of the natal chart.

For now, suffice it to say that Hell hath no fury like a mother who feels her children are being wrongfully kept from her.

And yet, our rage is one of our most important teachers, and one we must listen to if we want to heal our deepest inner wounds and fulfill our most primal needs.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I listened to my primal rage, here is what she had to say:

My love for and desire to protect my children is fierce- it burns truer than any fire and can never be put out.

My need for equality in sexual matters, matters of the body, shared responsibilities in the home or on the job, etc is a priority in order to thrive and feel safe.

And finally, with big Aries energy of self-awareness/fulfillment: I can take care of my own damn sexual needs.

+++ Lilith in the Eleventh house:

I am still working on getting over rejection wounds pertaining to group integration (11th house rules groups, friends, group aspirations)- the concept of “finding your people” who allow for your evolution alongside their own.

This placement means finding a place within different groups, those that go against the grain.

I have found friends in seemingly unlikely places and I am happy to have cultivated a heart for the marginalized, those people on the fringes of society. We, the brilliant loners, have a right to take up beautiful space here, too. Groups are not for everyone, and that’s ok, too.